![]() IT’S TOTALLY OKAY TO FEEL THE WAY YOU ARE FEELING. (Do you know how many times we’ve seen Frozen? And listened to the soundtrack? Do you? I’m asking because I’ve honestly lost track.)īut here’s the thing, and forgive the caps lock: IT’S TOTALLY OKAY THAT YOU ARE NOT THERE YET. And one day, you might find yourself making an involuntary gagging face at the mere mention of “pink ruffle bloomers” and thank your lucky stars that you were forced past the idea that babies are adorable little dress-up dolls and bought your kid some practical, easy-to-wash clothing.Ībove all, you’ll realize that the boy or girl thing is not actually a zero-sum, either/or scenario, and your son will absolutely enjoy many of the things you were dreaming of a couple weeks ago. You’ll realize that even if you did end up with the originally expected genitals, you STILL wouldn’t have birthed the particular little girl you invented in your head. You’ll look at your son and realize that he was never the girl you thought you’d have…but he also isn’t the boy you thought you’d have. My boys are a lot like me in some ways, a lot like their dad in others, and yet are all completely, 100% their own separate selves and it has nothing to do with the color clothing they wear or the toys I buy them.Īnd that’s something you’ll figure out eventually. I wanted a girl, or at least some idealized Gilmore Girls fantasy version of a girl - now that I have actual children in my house, I can laugh about my completely unrealistic expectations that a girl would automatically equal a little mini-me and a boy would be some kind of foreign, unfamiliar species of human. ![]() I spent a lot of my first pregnancy feeling guilty about my disappointed reaction to the “it’s a boy!” ultrasound, and my ongoing ambivalence about having a son. ![]() I wrote about this, once Noah (my first child) was older: We’re all supposed to say, “Oh, I don’t care if it’s a boy or a girl, I just want it to be healthy” and blah blah THRONE OF LIES. And it would all be true! But I don’t know how much it would really help you navigate the complicated emotions that you are (understandably) going through right now. I could go on and on about what it’s like to mother a son and how it’s amazeballs and transforming and how my boys have truly helped me become a better woman, feminist, wife, human being, all that. Please help me find the same love for the little man I need to get to know inside me and to let go of my dream of a little girl. I’ve always imagined a mini-me with matching long unruly hair and pink ruffle bloomers. I’m asking for your help because I know you are madly in love with your boys and I was hoping you could use this time to gush about your love for them and shed some light on how awesome they can be. I’ve found out at the super anxiety, nesting, over planning, first-time mother stage. I’ve heard that this can happen, but the stories I’ve heard usually have the parents surprised when they are holding their bundle of joy in their arms and the amazingness of the birth experience overshadows the shock. I’ve started returning all our pretty pink items, but I’m finding myself unenthusiastic to start replacing the items with blue and … I don’t know trains? I’m shocked and having trouble switching gears. Now I understand that this is an over-reacting hormone-induced analogy, but I feel like someone has taken the little girl I’ve been bonding with inside of me and replaced her with a boy. So when we found out the sex, it just seemed like confirmation of what we already knew.įast forward to now and during my second ultrasound they announce…. It wasn’t much of a surprise because everyone said from the moment we announced our pregnancy that we were having a girl. ![]() Since then I’ve been daydreaming in a sea of pink ribbons and sweet and spice, and everything nice. At 19 weeks I had my first official ultrasound and we found out we were having a little girl. I’m currently at 25 weeks of my first pregnancy (love your pregnancy calendar by the way).
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